Someone wise I knew said something like "A good wife [or husband] is a gift [from God]. We obtain gifts by righteous living."

• Then, I add: one should seek discernment to recognize the gift, and accept and not reject it when it comes.
• Being prepared to receive gifts can mean doing one's homework: seeking God and studying the particular issue.
• The DOCUMENT: About choosing a spouse: research and advice (a lot of work went into this; something good to discuss?)
• Dating and marriage: preparing oneself, and choosing a spouse