It is gracious (Christlike perhaps), to receive criticism and suggestions humbly, and to ask permission before giving them

• That helps people get along. Not everyone does that, and it doesn't demean you to do it, but it does enhance the world and our ability to live.
• It is OK to take time to think about it: one doesn't have to agree, but can at least say something like "thanks, that is something to think about."
• It means you were the gracious, kind one, in that interaction (or sometimes, that you survived it without making it worse--which can be good too).
• Sometimes it helps to speak *their* language, and to do that you have to listen, and maybe later explain yourself from their perspective.
• "then jesus beholding him loved him" (a conference talk)
  

  "I have learned many life-changing lessons from this deeply personal experience with Mark chapter 10. Here are four of these lessons I believe will help each of us:
  
  1. As we learn to see others as the Lord sees them rather than with our own eyes, our love for them will grow and so will our desire to help them. 
  ....
  2. No true teaching or learning will ever occur when done in frustration or anger, and hearts will not change where love is not present. 
  ....
  3. Love should never be withdrawn when a child, friend, or family member fails to live up to our expectations.
  ....
  4. Because He loves us, the Lord expects much of us.
  
  "

• Did not Christ receive pain as a way to heal others? He is "full of grace and truth" (ref?). When we learn & practice that, we are practicing a good ability.
• We have to be patient with ourselves, not causing ourselves stress that our skills in this area aren't progressing as fast as we want. It takes time & effort.
• "An important skill for children [and anyone] to learn" (enforcing boundaries: linked article)
• You do not need to be a doormat nor tolerate abuse. Sometimes, if the Spirit concurs (and we are not acting impulsively or in anger), we communicate clearly.
• It also does NOT mean to seek harm to ourselves. Christ's purpose was to do His Father's will. He did not allow others to harm him otherwise...